What'd I tell you?

I told you I'm horrible. I'm probably the worst girlfriend he could ever ask for. I'm sorry I can't be that girl you thought I was. I'm sorry I can't be that girl I thought I was. It's just in these past days, weeks, months, I've been in the middle of trying to figure out who I am, again. After Tsunami, things have been different & a part of me wishes I never went so things could have been the same. & the other part of me is glad that I went cos then I wouldn't have had that incredible experience. That joyful bliss I encountered there. How you could feel the grace of God there, just watching over you. How the sermons have touched us all. & how I got to see The Afters (: woot woot! But what I'm basically trying to say is that I don't know if I'm the one for you. I'm not sure if I'm the type of girl you need. You need someone who will treat you better than I ever will. Someone that will be more committed to you & won't do you like how I did you. I did you wrong. We went through hella ups & downs, mainly cos of me. & honestly, I don't know if I can manage to hear you cry anymore. It hurts me to know that you think I don't love you. I'm sorry for everything babe. I wish I could've been a better girlfriend.. I know that you forgive me, but how can you forgive me when I can't even start to forgive myself. Although I know that nothing went down between me & you know who, I can't forgive myself for liking him while loving you. I'm sorry for everything. I wish I wasn't the one putting you through this... I wish I was the one helping you OUT of this bullshit.. Again, I'm sorry...