My thoughts .

So , I was wanting to go to sleep , but my reading habits got the best of me -___-' I was reading while Cris was sleeping on the phone . haha , after 3 hours , the call ended . I ddnt bother to call back , cos I ddnt wna wake him (: haha . But during the call , I was reading , End of the Spear . My oh myy , that book is reallly good . If you dnt kno what it's abt , it's abt this guy , Steven Saint , who when he was I think , 5 , his father went on a missionary trip to seek out & find the Woudani tribe . & on his trip , the Woudani tribe brutally attacked & killed him . Along w/ 5 other men . & after that had happened , a few years later , him & his family & others decided to go back & help them . They gave them food , taught them important things , they treated them w/ medicinal needs , & such . & the most important was they taught them & preached the word of God . They baptised them , & converted them to christians . Christianity was what changed the Woudani tribe . & yeaah , I read that book , then maybe after an hour , I started feeling tired , but then I turned off my lights & closed my eyes , then ... they jst wldnt shut -____-' I stayed up fr like 2 hours jst thinking & looking at the ceiling , it was my own personal alone time . The only time I was ever really given to think to myself & jst ... think . hahahha .

I thought abt how life wld be w/o certain ppl . How life wld of been if I was still w/ a certain someone , & how things wld be different , if I never met Cris . I thought abt random stuff , & how things wld be if me & my brother never became close . How everything wld be different w/ one shift in it . & then I was being thankful to the things I have now . & surprisingly , I'm thankful fr the shit I have to go thru right now cos if I was going thru this , I wldnt the one I am tday . I probably wldnt be capable of dealing w/ it in the future . The shit I go thru now prepares me fr the future . Cos there are times where we have to let go of the past to live the present & get thru w/e comes our way in the future . & btw ,  I went to sleep at like 3 30 & woke up at like 1 15 -___-' & I'm still tired . I think I'll take a nap later .