Cause I Been Diagnosed With Love

Lately, I've been very emotional & I feel horrible because I take it out on Cris. I don't even know what's wrong me. I'm not anywhere near my period O.o Ahhh, I don't know. I'm sorry though babe for being a bitch to you ): I'm still working on tryna control my feelings & most def my mouth -_____-' I gotta watch what comes out of it before I have to start eating my words. Blaap. I was so out of it last night. I stayed up till like 3:30. & I was just so ugh. I was crying for stupid shit, I have the lowest self esteem ever, I'm just so blaah! I can't even be descriptive of how I feel about myself right now. It's just that all of a sudden, I feel ugly & I feel fat.. My acne is getting better at least, but yet I still feel like shit. I look at all the girls he use to talk to & there's one in particular that makes me feel completely U-G-L-Y! Like you don't even know how I feel when I see pictures of her, she's like gorgeous & I'm completely ugly compared to her.. * siiiiiiigh. Maaaayn, I don't know. It's just very depressing.. I find myself wanting to put make up on me because I think I'll be prettier or whatever. But nothing.. "/ I still feel like complete shit. So yeah, basically you can say my self esteem is at it's all time low.. & it doesn't help much when I hear my grandma saying such critical things about me.. Depressed? No. Upset? Yes. Not happy with myself? HAAYL FUCKING YES!